#barristerpoetry – a blossoming of talent in the timeline
Over the last couple of weeks a Twitter hashtag started by an employment law barrister has taken flight and prompted a stream of witty contributions. As the gardens of the Inns of Court bloomed in the glorious sunshine outside, barristers chafing indoors at their desks in chambers or waiting for their case to come on… Continue reading
Over the last couple of weeks a Twitter hashtag started by an employment law barrister has taken flight and prompted a stream of witty contributions. As the gardens of the Inns of Court bloomed in the glorious sunshine outside, barristers chafing indoors at their desks in chambers or waiting for their case to come on at court idled away the time by giving a legal twist to their favourite lines of verse. In this post we collect some of our favourite examples of #barristerpoetry and add a couple of our own.
Sean Jones QC started it all with a bit of Shakespeare:
Sean Jones @seanjonesqc May 17
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
I must insist on a response. It is susceptible to a yes or no answer.
To which Emma Jackson and Richard VB responded with Edgar Allen Poe:
Emma L Jackson @EmmaJackson78 May 17
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak & weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten ‘law’
Richard V B @southcoastbloke May 17
Quoth the Raven, never more.
Soon others piled in as well, with Andrew Marvell, Dylan Thomas, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Geoffrey Chaucer, Lewis Carroll, William Blake, John Betjeman, TS Eliot and others, plus of course more Shakespeare. And some original verse.
Tim O’Connor @timoconnorbl May 17
Had we but world enough and where necessary an Order extending time for the service of these proceedings
Simon Myerson QC @SCynic1 May 17
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day,
Thou must note this is not intended to be a trades description
Chris Dale @chrisdaleoxford May 17
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo
Persons stepping onto this balcony do so at their own risk
Sean Jones @seanjonesqc May 17
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage rage that your luggage didn’t make the flight.
Catherine Rowlands @cjr1968 May 17
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
that are not covered by that restraining order
DefenceSylph @carnybull May 17
I vow to thee on bended knee
Criminals shall not go free!
Hope doth fade – it’s nearly noon,
Trapped inside a witness room
Nigel Poole @NigelPooleQC May 17
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree
With the defects set out in the Scott Schedule appended hereto
April is the cruellest month.
All Schedules have to be recalculated for pay increases, tax and NI
Barton Bank @BartonBank May 17
What would you have, you curs
That like not peace nor war.
The division of shared assets
Without using a chain saw?
Stephen Spence @StephenSpence6 May 17
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
That is the case for the Crown
Chris Dale @chrisdaleoxford May 17
And did those feet in ancient time,
Walk upon England’s mountains green?
If so you may have a claim for adverse possession
Thomas Horton @_tomhorton May 17
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by opposing counsel to make a trap for fools
David Northfield @DANorthfield May 17
Injunct the clocks, Anton Piller the telephone, Mareva the dog with a juicy bone
Elizabeth Wheeler @ESCWheeler May 17
Dr Foster went 2 Glos’ter, in a shower of rain.
His clerks made a muddle,
hs brief was a fuddle
+ his fee was less than his train
Paul Skinner @PaulSkinner84 May 17
Come friendly bombs and fall on the County Court at Slough.
It isn’t fit for humans now!
David Christie @davochristie May 17
“I am Ozymandias, King of Kings
Look on my wor…”
If I could just stop you there, Mr Ozymandias and turn you to tab 21…
James M. Turner QC @ShipBrief May 17
who cares who bears
the loss that cost
one more weekend
of study door
closed on those I
love? only me? sigh
Dr Jez Phillips @drjezphillips May 17
Mens Rea
Actus Reus
We’ll prove them both
And then you’ll pay us.
David Allen Green @DavidAllenGreen May 17
I must go to that QC again,
To that lonely silk, and say Hi.
And all they’ll ask is for a sip
And my shoulder on which to cry.
Stephen Spence @StephenSpence6 May 17
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
Moving on then to Count 2
Barbara Rich @BarbaraRich_law May 18
They set up trusts your mum & dad
They may not mean to but they do
Resulting & constructive bad
Estoppel pretty useless too
Daniel Sternberg @BarristerDan May 18
The Moving Finger writes; &, having writ, Moves on:
subject to the slip rule s.155 Powers of Criminal Courts (Sentencing) Act
Rachel Law @crimcounsel May 18
When I am on old woman I shall wear purple
And serve just enough time on the Bench to qualify for a Judicial pension
1/2 Had I Butterworths embroidered precedents,
Enwrought with golden and silver terms of art,
I would spread my pleadings
2/2 under your feet. But I, being poor, have no legal aid,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Deirdre Kilroy @DeirdreKilroy May 18
Had we but money enough, and time, This delay, counterparty, were no crime
Sean Jones @seanjonesqc May 18
Half a league, half a league, half a league onward
into the valley of death rode the Legal 500
Catherine Rowlands @cjr1968 May 18
Canon law to the right of them, Canon law to the left of them
How much do I love thee?
As much as is reasonable and foreseeable and not contrary to public policy
Thomas de la Mare @thebrieftweet May 19
“I met a traveller from an Antique Land who said I “have a well founded fear of persecution””
sad but true
Daniel Hoadley @DanHLawReporter May 26
Do I dare
Disturb the judge?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a higher court will reverse.
Paul Magrath @Maggotlaw May 26
Fear no more the heat o’ The Sun,
Nor furious Daily Mail rages;
For PJS has his day in court won,
… and his legal team got their wages.
Timothy Brennan QC @BrennanQC May 26
Much have I travelled in the realms of gold, and many goodly sights and kingdoms seen.
Though not on criminal legal aid.
And then, perhaps more suited to Twitter’s word-limit, we have the #barristerhaiku or plain #haiku thread, of which these two examples are the best:
List office forgot
Sigh – my case won’t be called on
Today; home I go
We don’t say M’Lud,
Nor do we say “objection!”,
Also – no gavels.
Finally, a tribute to the law from a poet (Percy Bysshe Shelley)
Image via Longreads
That’s it. Many thanks to all who contributed to the theme and thanks (in expectation) for allowing us to reproduce it here. Apologies to the many others we didn’t include.
Enjoy the Bank Holiday Weekend.
Comments welcome on Twitter @TheICLR.